Every end brings a new beginning. I had dinner with the wife last night. It was a bad sight. I slowly ate and sobbed, not able to really say anything. After about 15 minutes of that, we eventually started talking, and I slowly got angry. I quit crying, which was good. Then, I started to think about how this heartache only frees me up to fight in a way commensurate with my abilities and skill set.
I did the post 9/11 thing, and never got deployed. Now, it feels like deployment time, and my wife won’t be waiting for me when I get back. It’s her call. I can’t make her do shit, nor would I want to. I try to treat others the way I want to be treated. I don’t take kindly to people telling me much, especially with the use of imperatives.
This time has been hard because I miss all of my NORML friends and family. Thanks for being normal. If we aren’t normal, then at least we are normal together. Colorado has lots of normal people, and I am excited about that. I want to thank all the parting wishes, gifts, and talk of visits. It’s hard sometimes, but I know that some of you are going to do it, and I take comfort in that.
I am headed up to Colorado with my truck, snake, and shotgun to learn how to be a farmer. Not just cannabis, but everything. I need to brush up on my armory skills, too. War may never come, but I need to be ready.
Jen still wears her ring. I think it’s sweet, but I don’t. Even now, it’s a reminder that I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself, and those with me. Everytime I come back without having to talk someone out of shooting or fighting, then it’s a win. I can go to Colorado not worried about how to placate/appease my wife while I wage war with my brothers and sisters.
Put me in, coach.
I’ve waited for years for my chance to play, and I am taking it. Don’t worry, there are always phone calls, social media, and the mail…you know…for Christmas cards and stuff. There will be an occasional trip back, but don’t count on one anytime soon.
I have a spare bedroom.
Come see me.
You will meet the good side of Motha Fukin Wagen, and I will introduce you to others like him.
I’ve already found some cool people. Thanks to my family and friends that are getting me connected with awesome people!
For those that are bound to stay behind enemy lines for various reasons, keep doing your thing. Stay cool, stay polite, stay cordial, but stay vigilant. It only takes that one dedicated traffic cop or that one undercover to fuck it all up.
Wagen, over and out.