Today, April 18th 2017, is Jen and I’s 8th wedding anniversary. This time of separation has been difficult, and our divorce is not yet finalized. I sent flowers and chocolate because I love her, and I couldn’t imagine doing nothing on this momentous day.
Being separated has brought many of my mistakes to bear. Sometimes I cry uncontrollably, wondering how I could have been so stupid. How I could have hurt someone I love so much? I had an amazing woman who loved me and loved others, and I gave her hell, and then broke her heart.
I am nothing without her. She is my better half. I forgot that along the way. She has brought so much joy to my life, and she stuck with me through life’s ups and downs, including crippling physical and mental illnesses.
I hurt and betrayed my best friend. The guilt is difficult to live with. When the guilt fades, there is only sorrow.
Thankfully, she and I still talk, and the talks are cordial, even cute, at times. I believe there is hope for us. I want to thank everyone praying for us, and for those that offer positive thoughts.
God wrote our love story, and I derailed it. Perhaps He isn’t done writing. I sincerely hope so.
Jennifer, I love you more than words can describe. Please forgive me for hurting you. You are my one true love, and that hasn’t changed. Please forgive me for getting off track. I hope you have a good day today. Hopefully your mind is filled with thoughts of the good times. I know mine will be.
Wagen, over and out.