It is with a heavy heart that I write this article. My first week in Colorado has been rough. I was able to get moved in on Monday, thanks to a good friend, but I have not done much but eat, sleep, and throw up since arrival.
I had these big dreams of being involved in the industry and making a difference.
Not just physically, but mentally. Some of you know how this is, and others don’t. It’s tough. I used to be healthy, happy, capable. Now, I am sick. Just sick. I recently got approved for social security disability in addition to my VA benefits. This means that multiple partitions of the government agree…I am not well.
I am thinking about quitting cannabis.
Anything to stop the vomiting. There is no proof that cannabis is causing it, but I think about the possible 10 – 20 + years ahead of non-stop nausea and vomiting. It’s very discouraging.
Plus, quitting cannabis could free up some extra money.
Moving up here and quitting probably sounds ironic to some of you. However, many have misunderstood me and my passions. My goal is to get better, cannabis or no cannabis.
I know there is some risk being this transparent online. I guess inside, there is still that really young man that could conquer the world with energy to spare. It’s tough accepting these limitations, and I fear that I have bitten off more than I can chew.
I fear that I have hurt my wife so much that she would never take me back.
It’s tough being in this situation, but that is why I am writing. It’s cathartic.
Thanks for reading. Sorry it’s not more cheery, like many of you were probably expecting. Change is hard, and adding divorce, distance, and sickness to it doesn’t help. I am asking for any prayers or positive vibes that you could spare. It would be appreciated.
Wagen, over and out.