Serving in the Navy was a unique experience. I was entrusted with alot of responsibility, but that exercise of trust was carried out in a very controlled environment. If I didn’t have the mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual fortitude to carry out my next task, then it could cost me and/or others their lives. Being continually subjected to that sort of conditioning has a strange effect on people. Some veterans have difficulty coming home from war — or from the endless hours of drills for war (which weren’t always drills).
I was able to cope for many years by relying on my faith. I was a Southern Baptist for the first 22 or so years, but I believe I experienced conversion at 16 years of age. The idea of a spiritual war kept me moving for a few years. Then I experienced some difficulties. That’s where The New 95 Theses comes in. I am currently going through the final but hardest round of editing. I am excited about publishing it, though. I hope it does well. Time will tell.
Then I found college in Southern California. The new environment at home and at school kept me going…for a year and a half. I completed 120+ credit hours with a 3.93 GPA in 18 months. I don’t talk about it much, but I was ready to learn IT and business. I enjoyed both immensely. After 3 years in IT and playing video games with the clan, I have decided that I want to be an entrepreneur. I have several ideas, but I am often limited by health, family support, or legality.
For now, writing and activism helps me stay going. I enjoy creating these blogs, and would appreciate some more interaction with them, but it’s still therapeutic for me. As far as never coming home from war, there is still a war among us. It’s not a war usually fought with guns, interrogation, torture, or other horrors. Although these tactics are used, this war is a war fought with information and cultural conditioning.
I’ve said it before: This Means War
I never came home. I am always at war. I have to have something to fight for, or my life feel meaningless. Even then, my life sometimes still feels meaningless. My wife finds difficulty with me always needing to find something to fight for, and I have a feeling many of you could relate to her, but it’s difficult to live with the years of conditioning and training that I have endured, and the same goes for our culture.
We have been taught about the evils of different things, especially in our churches, and I am now convinced that we have been fighting the wrong war. Yes, you are apart of this war, even without knowing it. It affects everything. The government is too big. It needs to get significantly smaller. I’m all ears if anyone has any suggestions. For now, I will continue to write, to talk, debate, and even make some people uncomfortable. Liberty is at stake. I didn’t sign up at 16, so I could come back home and be complacent at 30. Wagen, over and out.